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Dec. 7th, 2006

beckett

May 11

First of all thank you to Danielle & Renee for responding to the other post about the extension. I really appreciated what you both had to say. I decided to stay here until May 11. Definately. I relocate to a new apartment January 3 or 5. Hopefully without Amy or Kayla, and hopefully with Daisy. I still just need to talk to my scheduling manager who I cant stand who's never around, about getting a week off between when the fall advantage program ends and the spring one begins. It kind of stinks because an equal number of people i like and dont like from my work are extending. But its okay because the Brits and the Aussies are here till August anyways, and the Brazilians are here til the end of January. And I went to character auditions on the 5th. hahahah omg. I had no idea the first cut was made based on this little parade dance number which I failed miserably at but its okay. I'm kind of glad I went just so now I know, but I also feel like I wasted my time getting up that early because if I knew thats what the first cut was I wouldnt have even gone. I have absolutely no foot-eye coordination. But I made a fool out of myself in front of 60 people and survived. But that day I got Christmas presents from old navy which I wasnt supposed to open but.... hello. Clearly I did open them lol & they made me very happy :) And yesterday Steph and I went to Epcot. We had breakfast in Norway and lunch in China and we spent the entire rest of the day shopping the world showcase. OMG. I bought so many of my christmas presents. I think I have my entire immediate family done. Only I keep seeing things I want to buy my mom... and I keep buying them which is a problem hahaha.

Oh! so if you wanted to help me with my christmas shopping pretty please leave me a comment with your favorite disney character. k thanks :)

♥ xoxoxoxo
beckett

Brazilians

tonight I had the first bit of alcohol since august 11.
i danced with Brazilians.
I looked at pretty brazilian boys butts.
and i spent the entire day shopping at epcot & magic kingdom.

I love days off :D

Nov. 28th, 2006

beckett

Extension

So as most of you know I applied for an extension for my program. This would mean I would come home in January for hopefuly a week or 2 but then I would come back to Orlando until May 11. And I was kind fo excited about that idea because I really don't feel like I've had enough time here. I like living somewhat on my own. I love being here. With these people. But if I stay here longer, I'm kind of afraid I'll become too accustomed to life here and I either won't want to go home or will jusut be miserable when I do. I don't really think that will happen, its juts I think a lot. You guys know that. Thats the thing though, I miss people who know me. Here people have awkward silences because we don't know what to say to each other because we don;t know everything about each other. With you guys it's like silences are never awkward. You guys know what I need, how to make me smile, my rollercoaster moods, and you're still around. And I wish I was there because I love my friends and my family and just home and all the people and things that make me feel at home. And I miss that. But at the same time here I got a fresh start, I was my own individual person with my own story and somehow that's interesting because everybody here is from literally everywhere and we all want to learn so much about each other. And I like occasionally stepping out of my comfort zone and being really happy when I survived that first step. And this was a massive step. I'm glad I learned that I'm actually ok being away from home and even if its just waking up at 2 in the afternoon and going to work, I feel like I'm doing something and thats good. I hate when I feel like I waste my time. I feel like I wasted 3 years of high school because I didn't make the most out of it. I barely made anything out of it. Granted I'm so lucky to have met most of you there, I should have done more than make friends in 3 years. And I'm afraid that if I come home now I might juts go back to sleeping and working and thats not what I want. Here I actually have just the slightest bit of motivation and that is something truly amazing for me. I came here to get an idea of what I want to do with my life and what I want to go to college for and working at downtown disney has definately not really helped with that. I know I like working in retail, its easy, oh boy. So what if my life plans fall through that's where I'll go. But other than that nothing. My plan was to stay here until May and work in a different field at a different location; try something different and see how I like it. Well, I got my extension....approved for working where I am now. So unless I get a character, I'm stuck where I am until May if I accept the extension. I dont think my chances or getting a character are extremely high so I don't want to be counting on just that. So I'm really not sure what I want to do. Plus the whole not having a car here is a serious pain. And even if I extend now I plan on coming back for a semester in college to do the college program because they have more opportunities than the careerstart kids in fields I'm more interested in. So basically my story is that I have until December 2nd to make a decision. I want to talk to my managers about being moved and hopefully decide something sometime soon. Thats about my whole story. If you have any thoughts please share.

Also today my friend Danielle took me to Property Control and Company D which are 2 Disney stores for cast members where they sell damaged stuff (most of which can be fixed) or juts stuff they dont sell in stores anymore. I went crazy, omg, amazing. I definately spent just under $100. whoops. but its okay because my roommate that owned me $100 finally paid me back today. But the best part is that I started my Christmas shopping which is always exciting :)

And currently I look diseased/reptile-ish/stoned. So the eye with the thing that I cant spell but you know what I mean, now its grossly dry around that eye really badly and my other one kind of and all around my eyes is all red, its gross. So depending on when I wake up tomorrow I'm going to go to the doctor's tomorrow and get that checked out because I'm thinking/hoping I'm just allergic to something. Idk. It's gross though. I havent worn eyeliner in about a month now. since I got back from my visit home.

Anyways, I;m sorry I dont update more but I do love and miss you guys a lot ♥

Sep. 28th, 2006

beckett

someday you'll have a beautiful life

R|AN|D|O|M

1] what's a fun word? divertido.

2] if you could eat anywhere for dinner tonight, where would it be? any chinese restaurant

3] what's one of the sweetest things a guy/girl (whichever is your preference) has done for you? hold me until I fall asleep

4] what are your plans for tomorrow? class from 9-12 then a nap then work 6-1:30am

5] blue or black pens? depends on the day/mood

6] how much money do you have on you? $35

7] and, the nearest orange thing to you is? i have no idea its dark

8] why are you taking this survey? im restless

9] name 5 things you never leave the house without. cell, keys, vista id, cash, debit card

10] how many countries outside of the one you live in, have you been to? canada



C|U|R|R|E|N|T|L|Y

1] listening to: amy snoring

2] eating and/or drinking: nothing

3] wanting to: sleep

4] working for: um. nothing...

5] waiting for: me to fall asleep

6] wearing: boxers, underwear, bra, tank, hoodie, socks

7] should be: sleeping

8] the weather is: shockingly nice :)

9] talking to/IMing: no one

10] you're feeling...: tired



L|A|S|T

1] person you IMed: i dont remember.

2] person you hugged: doug or daisy

3] kiss was from/with: johnny

4] food you ate: half baked ice cream

5] person you said/typed/wrote "i love you" to: steph

6] place you went to: johnnys apartment

7] phone call: johnny

8] text message: johnny

9] shower: a few hours ago

10] thing you bought with your money: a 3 day supply of beverages



F|i|R|S|T

1] pet: pumpkin

2] birthday party: my first...

3] alcoholic beverage: rum

4] school: st catherines

5] physical fight: never

6] relationship: pauly, august of 02

7] sport you played/tried: ummm... tball?? i dont remember

8] website: probably something for school

9] single date: this week

10] person that comes to mind when you think of "love": all my friends <3



T|H|i|S O|R T|H|A|T

1] school or work: depends on the job

2] flip phone or slider: flip

3] single or in a relationship: both have perks

4] smoothies or milkshakes: smoothie

5] tanning in the sun or fake tanning: real even though i look liek a lobster

6] group dates or single dates: either

7] watching basketball or playing basketball: playing

8] crayons or markers: colored pencils

9] wishing on stars or wishing at 11:11: stars

10] iPods or CD players: both



O|F Y|O|U|R F|R|i|E|N|D|S W|H|O...

1] updates their myspace/xanga/etc. most often: i have no idea, if i knew that it would be me.

2] calls/texts you most often: johnny

3] is more likely to beat someone up for you: renee

4] does best in school (or work):cullan

5] drinks the most:hummm ;)

6] is in/makes up the cutest couple:aww theyre all precious

7] goes to your house most often: beth

8] would you share your bank account with: no one

9] knows your family best: maria

10] would you give your life for: any of them

Sep. 24th, 2006

beckett

when it all comes down to a sunrise on the east side

I started working this week. I had one day of training at each store (I work at 3). I work as a floater in Downtown Disney/PLeasure Island area. FIrst up was Mickey's Groove which is just a small merchandise store where ll I hae to do is greet "guests" [NOT customers] and ring. It's beyond boring. Not to mention the fact that I wear these hideous mens black pants with a massive bright red shirt with stripped sleeves. Its gross. Then I went to DisneyQuest which is this 5 story arcade/animation area. I love it, still kind of slow but very cool. Then my third day was at Candy Cauldron which is oh my god great. When its slow you get to make caramel apples, chocolate covered strawberries and marshmellows, and you get to mix and match topping however you feel like. cooking is relaxing and entertaining so I love it. The worst part of this week was that I left my black chucks in my locker at staples so nobody would take over my locker but then I found out I needed black shoes for work here and I can wear chucks so I had to go to target and buy shoes to wear until my mom could ship the chucks. well I picked out shoes wayyyy too quick and my feet were in so much pain all week, I literally could not walk normally. After my first day of training I went back to my locker at the DIsney Casting bulding, got changed (you arent allowed to go shopping in your costumer) then went to a store in Downtown Disney and bought new flipflops to wear home. But now I have my chucks for tomorrow so I'm happy.

I also just need to say how amused I am by the nu,ber of myspace and facebook comments I received due to my new status of being in a relationship. It was histerical. We finally went on a real date today and it was really cute. We went to Epcot and Magic Kingdom then out for dinner. He holds my hand and I never sleep at my own apartment, which is changing starting tonight (not the hand holding but the sleeping location). I dont liek missing out on our late night visitors or having someone to talk to when I cant sleep. Plus as much as I love Johnny's roommates, and they say they dont mind that I'm there every night I still feel like that would be awkward because I've been there and I got pissed off. Plus my roommate is very needy so I dont really wanna cause problems by not being around. Steph's here all the time. We've adopted her as our 7th roommate which works well because she brings the boys with her hahah. And last night steph and I went to Wendy's and 12:30 to gte Johnny something for dinner and we ended up hanging out in the parking lot with 2 slightly drunk British guys, Sean and Lee. We though they were part of the Disney program thing but as we found out a half hour later they were on "holiday" hahha I love the British. They're in this band Neverless which is apparently well known in the London/Camden area cuz I went to Johnny's last night and I asked his British roommate Gav if he had ever heard of them and his jaw dropped which was fucking histerical. He also has the funniest laugh and gets excited like a 5 year old when we take him to the parks. He's gonna throw a British party so I can meet all his British friends. & they say wicked! boston and london.... I love it. :-)

Sorry I just keep rambling about such random things. I dont know what to tell you guys, I just wish you were here I want to tell you everything.

I bought tickets for 2 shows in November at the House of Blues which is convieniently right across from DisneyQuest. (thus i will not get lost). So that will be nice to get to a show again. November 3 is New Found Glory, The Early November, Cartel, and Hit The Lights. Then November 10 is Hellogoodbye, Reggie and the Full Effect, Cute is What We Aim For and Dave Melillo. I'm psyched :D

and now my roommate is upset so I'm going to stop typing and go to bed.

sweet dreams <3 <3 <3

I miss you all like crazy

Sep. 17th, 2006

beckett

chocolate pudding

Seeing as I live with 5 other people and I kind of need to meet people here, I dont have a lot of time to call everyone I've meaning to call.
But I just wanted to say,
I met a boy.
He prefers to be called a man but yeah.
His name's Johnny.
He lives downstairs.
When we cuddle we're like a married couple.
I like kissing him after he eats chocolate pudding.
He's a drummer.
Tonight is my first night in 3 nights sleeping alone.
My bed feels huge.


And today I went shopping at Target!! and I got my nails done with Danielle and Daisy. And when I was standing at the bus stop I had on my June track jacket and this guy, Adam [but I can apparently call him Hawk] comes up to me and goes "you like June?" and I'm sure you can all see my face, I got really excited and we started talking about them and apparently he played with them in Chicago years ago when The Academy Is... was small, his band played with them and June. He made my day :D

goodnight pretties ♥

Sep. 13th, 2006

beckett

Your shadow is cast, this day to rest but we won't forget...

I really cannot make decisions.
I don't actually know what I want.
I know when I don't want something but I don't know when I actually want something.
Maybe I'm shallow?
Maybe 18 years of being single and having 5 crushes at a time makes me not like settling on one guy.
Why am I waiting around for Mr. Perfect because if someone doesnt do something then I want them to, but if they do do it I dont want them to.
I make no sense.
Its just like a scene in a movie.
Follow a script.
Only he isnt acting.
I really miss my friends.
I just want to hug each and every one of you.
Call me please if you can. Whenever.
We go to bed at 6am.
Tomorrow will be better.


And I have a hickey bigger than the time Renee bit the side of my knee that time. And you guys would piss yourselves laughing.
Guys are stupid.
I miss playgrounds and my slobs.

xoxoxoxo

Sep. 10th, 2006

beckett

the hideous "costumes" of disney

So today we got to Disney. Tomorrow morning I get to sit through backround checks, finger printing and tons of paperwork and I am scared shitless. Its a shame its so smily here, I kinda wanna puke. Although I do feel a little bit better after finding Steph. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I can;t remember what else I wanted to say.

Also, the comforters on the beds here are hideous.

Sep. 8th, 2006

greeneye

I miss that dirty water

I am currently in Virginia. Day 1 of the drive down to Orlando. Yesterday Chris took me out to breakfast, then Meg took me out to lunch, then I said goodbye to my aunt & grandparents, then went out to dinner with my parents. Now I just want poptarts or something. I stayed up all night last night packing a Ford Escape (which is pretty big) full of my life. Who knew I had so much stuff? I just hope other people bring that much because anybody flying wouldnt be allowed to. This morning it didn't really feel like I was leaving. But then my mom looked like she was going to cry and I was too exhausted for it to really kick in. And my last meal was called the New England Breakfast which I though I was pretty appropriate. Then we drove down to Jersey & stopped at a rest stop. I thought thought it was pretty cute cuz there was a guy wearing a umass sweatshirt, then I turned the corner & there's about 200+ umass kids. It was just weird. Then in Baltimore I made friends at a rest stop by finding toilet paper. and now im in a hotel in Virginia. It took me a little while to figure out the internet here but obviously that worked out. We had dinner downstairs and this little restaurant and our waitress had the cutest Irish accent. I'm kind of nervous but still excited. I miss familiar faces.

Sep. 2nd, 2006

greeneye

I've never told a lie, and that makes me a liar.

Seeing as summer is officially over and I need to update this regularly when I hit Florida I figured I should start trying to get into the habit.

This summer was by far the best and it sucks that its over but thats life and the kind of cool thing is that I get to go have another one. not really but it kinda feels like it.
I leave for Florida on Friday.
Work today 3-midnight, Sunday 10-7, Monday 11-7.
Sunday I'm going to [hopefully] see Karen & Danielle and anyone else who came home for the weekend.
After that its packing and goodbyes.
There's a massive pile of staples paper boxes stacked to the ceiling in my room but none of them have anything in them.
I have way too much stuff.
I finally went to a show and didn't buy anything. But that was just because I stayed front row the entire time then went to the bathroom and then everything was gone. But still, it was different for me.
Work is weird with people leaving and them bringing in new people by the truckfull.
I don't realize quite how much I like working with people until they're gone. It's a shame.
So far there's only 2 new people I really like.
Back to school shoppers drive me crazy. But they keep me busy which is good.
I finally get my review today, which means retro seeing as I was supposed to get it in the beginning of July. :)
I got a laptop. I like it.
Now that I dont have to go downstairs to go online or check my away I spend less time online & more time doing nothing. It's good.


I never know what to write here. There's so many things I want to say but its weird to pick and choose and everything comes out awkward.
greeneye

summer Q&A

Spent the night with someone?
I've spent some amazing nights with some amazing friends

Drank until your stomach hurt?
my head, not my stomach.

Laughed until you almost peed your pants?
hahah probably

Vacation?
Hilton Head in June

Went to the movies?
twice, pirates at midnight & then, again.

Gone shopping?
too much.

Had a job?
since last summer

Gotten freakishly bored?
I never get bored

Gotten sun burned?
warped tour & Hilton Head's attempt at a tan left me with a lobster face, ears, back of neck, etc...twice.

Made a bonfire?
No.

Been outside during a lightning storm?
I don't think so

Been to another state?
halfway down the east coast

Changed something about your appearance?
nope.

Gone on a road trip?
down to SC & back

Had a g/f or b/f?
no.

Been to a concert?
tons.

Had a memorable moment?
priceless & countless

Had a horrible moment?
oh absolutely.

Lied to your parents?
yes

Snuck out?
no

Gone skinny dipping?
No.

Made new friends?
yes :)

Lost old friends?
I hope not.

Missed a friend?
all the time. there was never enough time to satisfy my missing people. :/

Gone on vacation with no parents?
no, they went on vacation without me.

Slept under the stars?
no

Thought about school?
yeah, but I'm not going back so its not as nerveracking as usual.

Been to the beach?
Yes

Eat fast food?
too much

Talked about the government/war?
yes

Stole something from a store?
don't think so

Went out to a resturant with friends?
lots

Talked with someone over an hour on the phone?
5 hours is the new record

Woke up before 10 when you didnt have to?
yes

Reunited with an old friend?
yes :)

Thought about a special someone?
yes

Hoped they thought about you too?
yes

Can you look at summer without any regrets?
no, but nothing huge.

Jul. 20th, 2006

beckett

midol vs. tylenol pm

I go to work. I come home take a shower. I lie down in the freezing cold and stay up until 6am watching Sex and the City, Friends, and Gilmore Girls. Then I get up take a shower & go to work. I'm tired of working nights all the time. I miss my friends. I miss effortless friendships and hugs and laughs. I wish you could change and everyone around you could just stay the way they were when you fell in love with their personalities. I think graduation is finally kicking in.

And in movies and TV shows, theres always the part when two people are lying in bed all formed to each others body. I want that. I even seem to have a chance at that and yet something is very wrong.

I want to fucking sleep. and get caught up. I want to not think so much. Is it so bad to not charge someone as guilty until proven? And to assume the best in people? or am I just naive?

Jul. 14th, 2006

beckett

question

I would just like to ask the general public a question:

I dont know if any of you had one best friend for the majority of your childhood, someone you dont really talk to anymore. [If you didnt please pretend you do] Imagine you got a random letter from them, would that be really weird? What would you want to know about them? Or if you had to be the one writing the letter, what would you say?

Any responses would be greatly appreciated. ♥
beckett

sorry i can't remember the code for an lj-cut.

001. How is your summer going? pretty fantatsic
002. Have you been to any camps? no
003. Where did your family go on vacation? I went to Hilton Head with my aunt, uncle & cousin.
004. What amusement parks have you been to? Six Flags
005. Water parks? not yet
006. What has been your favorite part of the summer so far? all my days off when I got to see my friends
007. Have you seen any friends this summer? lots but not enough :)
008. What did you do with them? went to six flags, rocky horror, drove around, went to see pirates, went to shows... idk lots of stuff.
009. What movies have you seen this summer? pirates. twice.
010. Which was your favorite? pirates.
011. Have you seen fireworks? no
012. Have you lit fireworks? no
013. Have you been to your grandparents' house yet? yes
014. Where have you been working? staples
015. Do you work many hours? usually just about 40
016. How much do you get paid? 8.65 an hour
017. What have you been doing in your spare time? sleeping
018. Have you been to the beach? yes
019. Have you bought a new swimsuit? yes
020. Do you wear something over your swimsuit? yes
021. Have you been to the pool at all? yes
022. Would you rather swim or tan? swim
023. Have you had any summer romances? hahaha not really
024. With who?
025. Any late night phone calls? every night
026. Had any serious plans canceled? My family is going to HHI in august and I don't think I'm going to be able to go.
027. Are you liking the summer? yeah. minus the heat.
028. Are you ready for school to start? nah, but I'm bnot going to school so its ok
029. What class are you missing the most? history
030. What new class are you looking forward to the most? whatever business class I ahve to take. seeing as its the only one.
031. Have you been shopping? yes
032. What for? furniture, clothes, whatever my heart desires :)
033. What did you end up getting? a chair, dvd/bookcase, clothes, conditioner. idk tons of stuff. come over & see.
034. Have you had any summer drama? a little
035. With who and over what? not even worth mentioning
036. Who have you seen the most this summer? the people i work with
037. What have you eaten the most of? subs from royal
038. Have you had any surprises from that "special someone"? just visits
039. What did they do? showed up
040. Have you stayed out past your curfew? i dont have one
041. What were you doing?
042. Who were you with?
043. Did you get in trouble?
045. Have you done anything you regret? nothing huge
046. Did it involve eggs? no
047. How would you say you have acted this summer? busy
048. Any different than during the school year? yes
049. What is your favorite summer treat? ice creams trips
050. Do you get it often? not too often
051. Have you had any burritos lately? no
052. What is your favorite song that's come out this summer? Hero Heroine... I can't really remember when it came out but around the beginning of the summer I think.
053. What CD's have you bought this summer? The Junior Varsity, The Hush Sound, Oasis, The Loved Ones, I Am The Avalanche, Astrea, All Time Low, Cute Is What We Aim For... I cant remember what else.
054. Have you gotten a sunburn? yes
055. How long have you had it? just a couple days
056. Do you apply aloe vera to it? yes
057. Have you seen any plays at the theater? no
058. Did you enjoy them?
059. Have you pulled any pranks on anyone? dont think so
060. Did you have accomplices?
061. Have you been to any weddings? no
062. Whose and did you have a date?
063. Do you think they will live happily ever after?
064. What is your favorite flavor of popcicle? lime
065. Have you walked your dog in a while? I dont have a dog
066. Did it help you find any hott guys/girls?
067. Or do you prefer using the baby?
068. Is this a summer you will never forget? yes
069. Why or why not? because its the summer before we all split up
070. Do you wear lots of ponytails? no
071. Or hats or visors? no
072. What are your new summertime addictions? my bed, but tahts nothing new.... IKEA!
073. What time do you go to sleep at night? anywhere between 11pm and 6am
074. What time do you wake up in the mornings? around 12ish usually
075. Who have you thought about constantly? everybody
076. Have you been to any parties? yes
077. Whose and when? everybody's graduation partues & mimi's on teh fourth
078. How has the weather been for the most part? hot
079. Do you like it? no
080. What would you rather it be like? snowing
081. Have you had a fight with anyone? dont think so
082. What about?
083. Have you gone randomly skinny dipping? no
084. Would you if you could? no
085. Have you seen any major landmarks? yes
086. Did you stop and take a picture next to them? no, i was in a car
087. What else are you excited about happening? my graduation/birthday party, moving to florida
088. Why? because I'm going to ahve a moonwalk, & im jsut excited
089. Where was your favorite date? hahahha
090. What did you do?
091. If you could choose a vacation, where would you go? HHI
092. Has your family been irritating you over the break? not too much
093. What have they done that made you the maddest? not put in the ac just cuz my room isnt clean
094. Did your parents walk in on you kissing someone? no
095. What do you think about when you hear the word summer? hot
096. Have you seen palmtrees? yes
097. Have you splurged on anything? yes
098. Have you lost anything important? no
099. Was this survey a waste of some of your precious summer time? yes, but im over it.

Jul. 11th, 2006

beckett

That was EASY

I'd just like to ask the general public:

when asked what kind of birthday cake you would like someone to make you, who responds, "a chocolate nija turtle cake"???

well, Andrew does. so between yesterday & today I went crazy trying to come up with ideas of how to make a ninja turtle cake. End result: three layers of chocolate cake topped with a slightly disturbing shade of green frosting with [all] four ninja turtles figurines hugging the rim of the cake. But it turned out not so horrible :)

AND i went back to IKEA. I spent $140 & am veryyyy happy :D today i made a cake, built a bookcase/dvd rack, & put together a chair :D ill put up pictures later.

tomorrow I'm working 7-3:30 then Renee's picking me up & we're hanging out all afternoon/night.

Jul. 10th, 2006

greeneye

the wonderful world of Disney

So, prom was okay, afterprom was better. I ended up failing anatomy for the year but still graduating due to extra credits from freshman year thanks to field studies & computer. I'm still working at Staples, I hit the one year mark a few days ago. I'm spending the summer working just about 40 hours a week, sleeping, going to shows with Beth, & catching up with people in my spare time. I didn't apply to any schools during the year & I'm planning on taking a year off from school.

I starting talking to Steph Rosenberg a lot more since towards the end of school. She's doing a college program with Disney world & she [i thought jokingly] told me I should go with her. So I applied for the Disney CareerStart program which is pretty much the same thing only you aren't in college. I sent in my application & did a phone interview & I got an acceptance letter last week :) I need to be in Orlando September 11th & I can leave January 3rd. I won't be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year's. I will have time to make a couple college visits before I go to visit all the moving in freshmen :) and I'll definately make stops when I get home. I'm going to be driving down, provided I get my license on my birthday as planned, so I'll have to leave a few days early. & thats about the biggest news I've got.

today im going to take a shower, take my mom & sister out for lunch, rob my bank account & spend it at IKEA, then go to the movies with beth & snuggle in spongebob sheets :D im psyched. i love having days off.

maybe ill update again soon.

May. 8th, 2006

greeneye

its so damn hard to believe in the things that matter the most

Seeing as I neve update I'm not expecting many people to read this but for those who do, here are some (hopefully) brief updates on my life.

-they cut my hours at work from 35 hours a week to about 22. i kinda dont like it.
-i might not be graduating on time. even though it is completely my fault and i have no right to bitch or cry about it... im pretty devastated. i started crying in anatomy today. i dont deserve to graduate but i still would do anything to. yet im not.
-this week i have 3 100 point assignments due in anatomy and i need to read a book, and write a paper. and do a pile of makeup math work. all by friday.
monday: school. work 3:30-10.
tuesday: school. mother/daughter 6:30-?
wednesday: school. work 3:30-10.
thursday: school. June/Valencia at the Living Room in Providence with Beth
friday: school/senior breakfast.

i dont think im gonna be sleeping a lot. and yes i know i could be doing homework right now but instead im writing this but this is liek 5 minutes and i dont care.

-friday is my last day of high school.
-i got a prom dress. its yellow. id take a picture but its a bitch to put on plus i broke my camera.
-i finally got a cell phone. if i havent given you the number let me know.

thats about all ive got for now. i was just sick of looking at my last update that said i got my permit. even though i havent gotten my lisence it still seems really old.

xoxoxo

Feb. 23rd, 2006

beckett

short news.

I just thought I'd let everybody know.


I got my permit :)


finally.

i <3 beth

the end.

Jan. 4th, 2006

beckett

pictures

pictures are up.

http://www.worldisround.com

usernames: costleen21 & costleen88

my picture files are gigantic so i had to make 2.

just so you know.

Dec. 26th, 2005

beckett

I want to see Christmas through your eyes....

I havent updated in a while and uploading music takes forever so here i am.

* christmas this year was pretty much like having everyone in my family's birthday within the same two days. no snow, less magic.
* We played christmas music so much at work i got sick of it.
* nancy came home from school sometime last week, i forget.
* and all our work schedules never lined up so that we could get a christmas tree together. my parents got it this year. thats never happened before. and they even decorated it themselves. it was just weird.
* one thing that stayed the same was my mom went way overboard. she gets really into the season. she gets some good buys but she still makes me feel like one of those spoiled rich kids. her effort's really sweet and i really appreciate what she does for us but i know we dont have the money.
* my favorite cousin & one of my best friends, maria, was on a cruise with her parents for vacation so we're doing a big family christmas get together in january. and i miss her.
* i worked 35 hours last week.
* holiday customers are either pushy bitches, or sympathetic sweethearts
* i like having the college kids back at the store for a couple weeks. theyre cute. and since christinas back i dont ahve to work that much.
* this week im only working tuesday (4-10), wednesday (4-10), and thursday (4-10).
* liz claimed friday.
* everything just feels awkward and not right lately, and kinda complicated even though almost nothing is happening.
* i kinda like this guy (at work, what else is new). hes adorable. and just really comfortable to be around. idk, hes just really great. my christmas gift from him was finding out he has a girlfriend.
* beth & alyssa are coming over tonight for gingerbread houses :D
I am seriously excited.
* a while ago beth and i went to the palladium in worchester to see aiden, silverstein, bayside and hawthorne heights. i was pretty excited for hawthorne heights [jt signed the jeans :)], but i really really wanted to see bayside. they were beyond words incredible.
* im getting my permit tomorrow :D... if i pass... hahah so hopefully ill be getting my permit tomorrow
* i went christmas shopping with nay and dani friday after work and ended up buying myself a sweatshirt at american eagle. id never been in there before but i love them! my sweatshirt's red with a zipper at the top and it says am.eagle 177 with an eagle on the top left of it. i just wanted to share because im in love with it. [obviously]
* thursday i got to see karen and dee and robin :D for like 3 minutes but oh well. then i hung out with allie and liz and kevin. it was fun :)
* and last friday i hung out with liz, kaitlin and kevin. taht was a blast :)
* my room is currently a disaster. you literally cannot see my floor. i need to work on that before beth and alyssa get here.
* and even though i dont ahve my permit, i do have a car. its the mazda that nancy totaled over the summer. she needed a car to get to school so she took out some loans and got a new one. mine went in the shop for a few months. now its just sitting in my driveway waiting for me. but im still pretty excited.
* its raining out :) like pouring. on and off but its still nice

i cant really remeber what else ive been up to lately. i need to call some people. get caught up. i am pretty bad at calling people so please feel free to call <3

all my love & happy holidays :)

Dec. 2nd, 2005

beckett

elizabeth ann wallace

BETH MADE ME A NEW ICON

I LOVE HER


THE END.

Nov. 10th, 2005

beckett

dont bother to try to open your eyes.... are you afraid yet?

surevy )

i know, im a loser... actually! mr waters wrote taht on my collar today.. thoughtful man he is. ill put up pictures from today ("crazy uniform day") and halloween when i find that cord thingy to plug in the camera with.

life lately has been alright. first quarter ended. one b, 2 c's, 2 d's, one f. better than last year. still not great. obviously. i still havent even really started looking at school's. im going to apply to a couple but i think i am just going to take first semester off and start in the spring. that way i dont have to go insane doing the whole application thing now while trying to do well senior year. that seems to have everyone stressed out like crazy so its pretty unappealing. but i figure ill still apply for fall to a couple schools at least because i know come may when all of you are talking about going to school that ill be regretting not applying. but i think i really jsut need the time off. ill work. depending on how much money i've saved up but teh end of the summer i want to go to italy or somewhere for a little while. idk. it might not happen. but then again it might. just thought id share the idea. and yes i know i should be saving money for college, not a vacation but i want this. i also need to get my permit. the cars almost ready and i dont even have my permit. splendid. ill work on that. and my room. i really need to get painting. maybe over thanksgiving weekend. probably not though lol. i dont even knwo why im writing this stuff. its not even stuff any of you probably care about its just a stupid to-do list tahts been ongoing for the past year. oh well. work isnt as fun as it used to be. i still like it and all i guess, but ive just been really tired lately. when i get home i just go to bed and in the morning ive slept in so late i dont have time to shower till afterschool. and that is just not like me at all. ive never really wanted to get out of bed but not showering before school??!!! its yucky. not taht any of you who dont have showering issues dont smell lovely but you know how i am. and my air conditioner is still in my window. and its already snowed. tahts was AMAZING! i loved it! and today was liek friday for fba because we dont ahev school tomorrow, woot woot :D so beth & i had a dinner adventure to rochie's then somewhat successfully made shirts for tomorrow. The Academy Is... AT AVALON TOMORROW NIGHT :D with all american rejects & rooney. we're going with ruthanne. its going to be fantastic! 2nd time seeing TAI. im VERY excited. obviously. now im just overtired and annoying. the end.


much love
<3 <3 <3

Nov. 4th, 2005

beckett

(no subject)

"If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or moritified) about what people remember about you."

Oct. 1st, 2005

beckett

(no subject)

i miss how optomistic i was over the summer.
i miss how on top of the world i felt those first couple weeks of school.
i miss the way you used to smile at me before.. i dont even know what happened.
i miss how i used to understand you.
i want to wrap my arms around your waist and inhale the way you smell like cigarettes.
i want my mom to stop thinking that terrible things will happen if i go for a walk at 10pm.
i want to understand the way guys think.
i want to be comfortable.
i want everything in your life to be perfect.
i want to not be afraid.
i want to not be anxious.
i want to not be sad for no reason at all.
i want to not be sad when you leave without saying goodbye.
i dont want to let you down.
im afraid you'll love me but thats what i want most in the world right now.

Sep. 25th, 2005

beckett

sorry. i was bored.

SECTION ONE: THE FACE
1. Do you wear makeup? If so how much and where? Yes, foundation on my face in general I guess lol, and eyeliner & mascara on my eye lashes
2. Do you use face creams/ moisturisers? Not really
3. Do you pluck/ wax your eyebrows? pluck
4. Have you made any permanent changes with surgery? no

SECTION TWO: HAIR
1. Which brand of shampoo do you use? Herbal Essences
2. Do you condition? yes
3. Do you blow dry/ straighten/ curl your hair? Blow dry and straighten on some days
4. Do you use mousse/ hair spray/ any added volumisers etc? no
5. How often do you go to the hair dressers? Like… every few months.. idk
6. Is your hair coloured? If so which colour? no
7. Have you got streaks/ highlights? no
8. How do you usually wear your hair? down
9. Ever had extensions? no

SECTION THREE: THE BODY & CLEANLINESS
1. Any piercings? If so how many and where? no
2. Any tats? If so what are they, where are they, how many? no
3. Do you wear jewellery? How much? One necklace & one ring
4. How much of your wardrobe contains brand names? (as a percentage) is old navy a brand name?? I don't think so, so not a lot I guess.
5. Favourite item of clothing: sweatpants/mens pj pants
6. Do you own any furr? Ew. No.
7. Brand of deodrant: dove
8. Perfume/ Aftershave: sweet pea
9. Shaving foam/ shaving gel/ wax/ sugar/ soap and water? Soap & water
10. Do you shave/ wax your legs? shave
11. Do you shave/ wax your arm pits? shave
12. Do you shave/ wax your arms? no
13. Do you shave/ wax bikini line? shave
14. How often do you shave? When I need to? idk
15. Razor brand? Gillette Venus
16. Do you use a body moisturiser? sometimes
17. Brand of bubble bath? Don't use it
18. Brand of soap? ivory
19. Brand of washing powder? Excuse me?

SECTION 4: FOOD & DRINK
1. Do you prefer fizzy/ still drinks? flat
2. Favourite hot drink. Hot chocolate
3. Favourite cold drink. Orange juice & mountain dew code red
4. Favourite snack. idk
5. Favourite meal. No idea
6. How many meals do you eat a day? one or two
7. Do you eat out? yeah
8. Convinience food agree/ disagree? Agree?
9. Favourite fast food outlet. Taco bell
10. Regularity of eating out. Now like once a week with work.
11. How often do you cook? I'm not home a lot, maybe once every week
12. Milk: semi skimmed, full fat? I think we buy fat free, it might be skim though
13. Bread: white/ brown/ wholemeal? Don't really care
14. Butter/ marg? Not a big fan of either
15. Do you own a food mixer? yes
16. Slice your own veg/ buy ready prepared? We buy em frozen
17. Oven/ Microwave? depends

SECTION 5: OUTDOORS
1. Favourite sport. basketball
2. How often do you work out? Depends on the week
3. In any clubs/ societies for sport? no
4. Own a car/ vehicle? Kinda, right now its totaled
5. How often do you drive? Very rarely
6. Prefer to walk/ drive? walk

SECTION SIX: TECHNOLOGY
1. Own a computer? yes
2. Email/ Hand Written Letter? Hand written
3. Hand written notes/ typed up? Hand written
4. Broadband? Wireless? Dial up? DSL
5. How often do you use your computer? Like 2 hours a day at least
6. Have a fax? no
7. Have a mobile phone? no
8. How often do you use your mobile?
9. Is it just the one mobile phone?
10. Average bill monthly?
11. Pay as you go/ contract?
12. Ever used your mobile over the landline to save time walking?
13. Cable/ Sky/ Freeview? I don't have any
14. Do you own a DVD Player? Yes, its broken
15. How many DVDs do you have? um. A bunch?
16. VHS? A LOT
17. Stereo system? yes
18. Laptop? no
19. PDA/ Blackberry? neither
20. How many game consoles you do own? None I don't think

SECTION SEVEN: PERSONAL THINGS
1. Smoke? How many a day? very occasionally
2. Brand of cigarettes. Whatever’s offered
3. Drugs? Haven't for a while
4. Drink alcohol? yes
5. Favorite alcoholic beverage. Smirnoff twisted green apple
6. Pick litter up/ leave it? Um. Idk. I have picked it up before but I don't walk around cleaning up after everybody else
7. Turn off lights/ appliances or not bother? I tend to leave it on
8. Leave the tap running when cleaning your teeth? nope. I turn it off and go for a walk.
9. Sort trash into seperate bins? Um. No.
10. Recycle? yes
11. Worry about the world? yes

Age of your first kiss?: 7ish
Who was your first crush.boyfriend.girlfriend?: first crush was James in like 3rd grade. First boyfriend was apparently last summer even though I don't think that counts.
What is your first memory of?: at daycare in a crib
Age you first drank?: 15
First nightmare?: sometime when I was little
First dentist appt?: I have no idea
First breakup?: last summer if you count it
Your first best friend?: mikey
Do you remember your first Christmas?: no
First word you said?: I don't know.
Sandbox or monkey bars?: sandbox. The monkey bars used to scare me
The kid playing tag or drawing?: both
This or That? Usually that
Hot chocolate or tea?: hot chocolate
Bedtime or awaketime?: bedtime
Football or Basketball?: both
early bird or wake at noon?: both
Hoodies or sweaters?: hoodies
Sking or Snowboarding?: I suck at skiing, so amandas gonna teach me how to snowboard :D
Long hair or short?: on me? long
Blue or Brown eyes?: any color, mine are brown though
Reading or Writing?: both
Watching movies or watching tv?: both
Singing or Playing an instrument?: singing
Pencil or pen?: pen
Shaved or all-hair?: somewhere in the middle I guess
Bracelets or Necklaces?: necknaces
Gold or Silver?: silver
Snow or Rain?: rain
Boys or Girls?: boys
Blondes or Brunettes?: brunettes
Doctors or Dentists?: neither
At the theaters or on the couch?: in my bed
Reality Shows or Sitcoms?: reality
Britney or Christina?: christina

Last...
Thing you drank?: kool aid burst! In grape!
Song you listened to?: perfect—simple plan
Time you cried?: it’s been a while
Phone call you received?: nancy
IM you sent?: liz
Fight you had?: I think it might have been 2 weeks ago.
Failing grade you got?: june-ecology
Thing you smiled over?: when I had to go to work to figure out my schedule
Website you viewed?: livejournal
Thing you wrote on paper?: a list of things I needed to get, that I didnt
Time you slept?: this morning
Candy bar you ate?: a kitkat
Time you went minature golfing?: not the last time I was at Hilton Head, but the time before that I think… whenever that was… last summer maybe?
Thing you thought about?: the last time I went mini golfing
Dream you had?: cant remember it
Time you got your hair done?: prom
Time you got a hug?: today, a few hours ago
Person you kissed?: idk if he even counts it.


Random
What time is it?: 7:55pm
What are you doing?: typing and singing
Whats your favorite scent?: wood burning &/or cigarettes
Do you have any animals?: a cat
What do you want to go to college for?: don't really know.. I'm thinking psych.
What kind of toothpaste do you use?: crest
Sports or Music?: music
Real or Fake?: real

Have you ever smelled the rain? yes
Have you ever had someone from your past suddenly appear? yes
Have you ever felt like the whole world was right? yes
Have you ever cried because you felt good? no
Have you ever walked along when it's cold outside and you have a fever? yes
Have you ever wondered if the universe was sitting on someone's fingernail? yes
Have you ever seen the sky at night when the clouds look like flowers? Ive seen the sky at night but I don't think the clouds look like flowers
Have you ever wanted something but then when you got it found out it wasn't what you needed? yes
Have you ever tried to make things right, only to realize they work out if you let them be? yes
Have you ever seen a grown man cry? More than one & more than once
Have you ever seen an amazing lightning and thunder storm like they have in the midwest? Maybe not, ive never been to the midwest
Have you ever needed to be held? yes
Have you ever made something you thought was great but no one else liked? yes
Have you ever made something that you thought was terrible that everyone else loved? yes
Have you ever splashed in puddles? yes
Have you ever been really sick? Not really, nothing more than chicken pox and colds and all that
Have you ever made a snowman in your front yard? yes
Have you ever known what it was like to love and be loved in return? no
Have you ever had a crush? yes
Have you ever had a kiss? yes
Have you ever known how good something was? Probably not
Have you ever not know how good it was until it's gone? yes
Have you ever tried to write poetry but ended up throwing it away? yes
Have you ever held the power? maybe
Have you ever felt like you knew something was right? yes
Have you ever seen something terribly sad happen right before your eyes? not really, maybe something I'm forgetting. But I mean, ive never seen someone die or anything to that extreme
Have you ever given a love letter? no
Have you ever tried to make someone feel better, just because you saw they were down? yes
Have you ever wanted a kiss? yes
Have you ever needed a hug? yes
Have you ever wanted to just do things on impulse? yes
Have you ever wanted to paint a picture? yes
Have you ever wanted to just run? yes
Have you ever needed to get away? yes
Have you ever tried? yes
Have you ever wanted to be a kid again? yes
Have you ever blew big bubbles with pink gum? yes
Have you ever lost a love? Ive never had one to start with
Have you ever experienced puppy love? Not in a mutual way
Have you ever experienced love at first sight? I suppose so
Have you ever tried to tell someone something but the words wouldn't come out? All the time
Have you ever written a letter to someone you lost touch with? yes
Have you ever walked down a country road with your friends? yes
Have you ever had a really good time with your best friends? yes
Have you ever told them how much they mean to you? yes
Have you ever shown them that you love them? yes
have you ever told your parents you love them? yes
Have you ever told someone else you love them? yes
Have you ever played with your old toys? yes
Have you ever gone back in your mind and remembered? yes

What if…

…You had a chance to go back in time but would lose the chance to undo what you do?: I would, just to remember

...You had the choice to either die young without pain or older with pain?: young

...You could be rich and famous and unhappy or poor and happy?: poor

…You could be fat and marry the guy/girl of your dreams or skinny and marry no one?: marry the guy of my dreams

…You got separated from your family in an airport?: ive been in an airport without anyone I know before so I guess id just go get on my plane?

…You were kidnapped?: be terrified

…You were locked outside your house?: that’s happened. Walk to work and get a key from my mom.

…You had to chose between saving your true love or best friend and could only save one, but could sacrifice yourself to save both?: sacrifice myself

…You could say only one thing before you died?: I have too much to say before I die

…You were about to die in three weeks?: stay home from school and visit everyone who’s ever meant something to me and tell them everything

…You could live in another era?: the early 1900s

…You had the choice between life in prision or death penalty?: death penalty

…You had the choice between a high paying but boring job, or a reasonable-paying fun job. Fun job.

Sep. 19th, 2005

beckett

this is my life.

First week of school wasnt too deadly. all the periods seem to go by pretty fast surpisingly but the week seemed long. I worked tuesday, thursday & saturday. Not too bad either. When i got the job it was pretty much just for the money and that was it. it never occured to me i might end up with some friends, not too mention a good one. idk. its nice, thats all.

friday night i took a nap then around 6:30ish beth and kelly called since they were in norwood, so we went for a walk in the rain to shaws & got energy drinks, margatita mix, pies & those kool aid juice boxes we used to have in like 1st grade. its like a plastic bottle and the top twists and breaks off & looks like batman... idk. yeah. hahhaaha it was an awesome night though.

saturday i slept in all morning and went to work from 4-10.
yesterday i went to my grandmothers for lunch then pretty much just hung around the house. then i took a walk to get some more of the batman juice and hung out with a certain someone for a little while after he got off work. that made my weekend. :D still havent really stopped smiling and i couldnt tell you why. i even did all my homework when i finally got home. shocking i know :)
then today i went to school. i was only free 6th which kinda sucked but i guess it wasnt bad. ive gotta fix my art project tonight. after school i took a little drive with jenn and kelliann to wallaston. fall out boy, my chemical romance & air conditioning... mmm hummm :D thanks a bunch jenn. then i headed to bch. got attacked with hugs hahha saw mr. foley. it was jsut awesome seeing some of the guys. not everybody, but still fucking great. we had a little meeting then me, jackman, rudy, & terry caught a train and headed home. the guy who makes me not be able to stop smiling told me to visit him tonight so i stopped by to see him before going home. and i ran into dominique at walmart, where they do not sell hot pink duct tape because they suck at life. but thats okay, i saw her and that was pretty spiffy scouring the pen isle and all ;) and i finally bought Emma for english. and now im home. exhausted.

but its been a pretty happy and great and preciously awesome past 26 hours :D

AND! today. kelly. bought me. CLUE! :D
hehehhehehehehehehhehehheheheh its super!!

<3 me

Sep. 10th, 2005

beckett

birthdays

could everybody please leave me a comment with your birthday. month day and year would be much appreciated. even if you dont have an lj. if you got the link off my profile or something just leave an annonymous post with your name.

k. thanks :)

<3 <3 <3 much love

Sep. 6th, 2005

beckett

I tried my hardest just to forget everything

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
my answers )

and because beth wasnt in the first one, i did it again and only checked the people who werent in teh first...

my answers )

Aug. 31st, 2005

beckett

(no subject)

I'm back from Florida/Hilton Head tanless but with pictures )

I drove 1207 miles home on sunday. and im working monday through friday this week. school starts next wednesday, well, classes start thursday but whatever. and did anybody else realize that starting thursday we dont have a single half day until october? thats right.

<3

Aug. 19th, 2005

beckett

these dreams in which im dying are the best i've ever had...

so um. you all know how i've never known someone with the same birthday as me and ive told you that if you ever meet someone with my birthday to not introduce us. well... dr.malone and i have the same birthday. which is sad, but i still like her so i suppose im not too upset. i just thought id share.

i also reallyreallyreally need to get my permit.

and paint my room.

and im basically done with work study for the summer but im going to go in monday to finish up a couple things. i did approx. 250 hours this summer. maybe more. i dont remember.

and i finished summer shcool and passed with an A.

work is going okay hours and money wise. im working saturday (10-6 i think), sunday (11-7), monday (3-10), and tuesday (3-10) because of back to school.

and im flying to florida on wednesday.

thats about it.
<3 <3 <3


oh yeah. and he quit.

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